


Bridges Burn, I Never Learn.

by TheItsyBitsyWriter



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Stucky - Fandom
Genre: Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Boyfriends, Fluff, Guilt, Happy Ending, Husbands?, I Don't Even Know, I am so Stupid, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm Sorry, I'm Stucky Trash, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Neck Kissing, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Songfic, Steve Rogers in love, Stucky - Freeform, That's My Kink, Who Knows?, a little sad, and so tired, bucky barnes in love, domestic stucky, not really - Freeform, sad bucky, soft babies in love, supportive Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 15:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19726768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheItsyBitsyWriter/pseuds/TheItsyBitsyWriter
Summary: "All my flowers grew back as thorns,Windows boarded up after the storm,He built a fire just to keep me warm."ORAfter it's all said and done, after the storm's passed and the air has cleared, Bucky's still the one Steve loves more than anything else, and Bucky's still Steve's home.





	Bridges Burn, I Never Learn.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I listened to "Call It What You Want" by Taylor Swift for the first time today (shocking, I know right?) and this just came to my head. It's a beautiful song, and the portrait Taylor paints is the exact kind of relationship I believe Steve and Bucky to have at the end of the day.  
> Because really, even canonically, it's always going to be Steve and Bucky against the whole world (Endgame fucking sucks, we're ignoring whatever bullshit happened in the last five minutes of it)  
> And since I loved the song so much, I decided to write this.  
> I'm really into songfics these days if you couldn't tell already.  
> So without further ado,  
> I hope you enjoy :) x

Steel gray eyes open leisurely to what was very little amount of light flitting in through the gap in the curtains. Bucky Barnes breathes in deeply, and blinks the sleep out of his eyes. Then he lies exactly where he is, and watches as the light grows steadily outside until the curtains glow just the same as the glass. He glances momentarily at the digital clock which glares 7 _:12 a.m._ in a bright red, and he sits up in bed. He stretches his arms above his head and pushes the duvet off his body. He turns, so his legs dangle from the side of the large bed, and his toes wiggle their own way into his house slippers. He heads towards the window, his slippers soundless on the carpeted floor, Bucky pulls back the soft fabric to survey what the day might bring. The road outside was slick with water, though the puddles remain quite still, no hint of rain still falling. Above head, the clouds were still grey but without the denseness of yesterday, allowing patches of blue to form. 

Bucky yawns and turns around to look for his shirt, he could swear he'd tossed it on the chaise last night, but when he doesn't find it, he just accepts defeat and moves silently towards the bedroom door— Steve must have taken the shirt, it was laundry day after all. He walks through the house, bare-chested and with red flannel pajamas hanging loosely from his hips, and goes quickly down the stairs. The house was unsurprisingly empty, as usual— Steve wasn't back from his morning run yet, and goes straight for the coffee machine in the kitchen, which was already turned on to the slowest setting, the glass carafe already more than half filled with steaming hot coffee. Bucky smiles, _thank God for Steve Rogers,_ goes to find his mug in the rack, and then unceremoniously fills it up almost all the way with the pure black coffee. He dumps two packets of cream and two packets of sugar into it and takes his very first sip. His shoulders immediately sag and he sighs, _coffee is the best thing in the world— of course, right after Steve._

Holding the very large mug with his right hand, Bucky moves towards the front door and opens it wide, finds the newspaper exactly where he'd expected to find it, and bends down to pick it up. When he straightens, his head instinctively turns to the right and just as he'd expected, he finds the lovely Mrs. Bennett cheerfully waving at him from behind her rosebushes. He stands straight and tucks the paper under his right, raises his left and waves back at her— metals catches the sunlight and reflects blinding on to the roof above his head.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Bennett. How are you doing today?" He asks her, his voice loud enough to carry through to his next-door neighbor.

"I'm doing great, honey, how are you? How's Steven?" She asks his back in return, smiling widely at him from under a wide-brimmed hat. She reaches her other hand and wipes sweat from her brow with the back of her wrist. God, that woman loves her rosebushes.

"I'm alright, and Steve's doing good too, ma'am, still out on his morning jog." He tells her, and grins. He can imagine Steve coming back from his run and then stopping to have a chat with the lovely old lady. "You take it easy, alright?"

"Thank you, you too, honey."

"Call me if you need anything."

"I sure will, James! You have a good day, darlin'." Mrs. Bennett tells him, and waves goodbye. Bucky waves back at her and turns around to head back into her house. He loves Dolores Bennett, probably as much as she loves her rosebushes. And it's not just Dolores, her husband— Bart, is just as good of a man. In fact, everyone in their quiet little neighborhood is amazing, and has even better residents. Most of of them are families; there's Steve and Bucky's next-door neighbors to the right: Dolores and Bart Bennett; the one to the left are Margaret and Timothy Oaken, and their three children Alison, Taylor, and Liam. There's the Smiths across the street; Eleanor and Colin, and their children Robin, Leo, Alex, and Reign. Next to them are Rosalie and Lena Harris, and their son Oliver. And so on and so forth.

The whole neighborhood is filled with people who have actual values, who are decent humans, who've allowed Steve and Bucky to live their lives in peace and quiet, after years of war and struggle. The area Steve and Bucky had found a home in, was a sleepy little town called Hatfield Hollow, somewhere in Upper Montclair, in New Jersey. It was beautiful, and peaceful, and when Steve and Bucky had gone house-hunting there two years ago, they'd fallen immediately in love with the house they now lived in. It was just perfect them; the house _and_ the town. The perfect place to start anew; the house was not too big and not too small, and the town was as if plucked straight from a fairy tale.

For a great long while, in the start, Bucky lived in the shadows of his fear and paranoia; every single time he and Steve went out for a walk together, he'd be looking over his shoulder, not trusting anyone. And it was nothing short of a miracle, that the residents of their town, gave Steve and Bucky their space— everybody knew who they were: Captain America and the Winter Soldier, they were famous. Especially after the globally covered trial that was dubbed "Sergeant Barnes vs. the People" a trial that had put Bucky on the stand, and a trial that Bucky had won— of course with the help of Steve and all of his friends and allies. Bucky Barnes was now a free man. The progress had been slow but prominent, over time, Bucky opened himself up to Hatfield Hollow and it's residents, instead of just Steve.

Bucky ventures back inside the house, sipping from his mug, and tosses the paper on the kitchen aisle when he passes it by. He quietly goes back up the stairs, knows he needs to brush his teeth and wear a damn shirt, then he has to make breakfast. Steve would be home soon, his runs usually end around half past seven. Upstairs, the bedroom was just as he left it, and he stands in the doorway, taking in everything that needed to be done. He suddenly wants to wash the curtains, and has to change the bed sheet, and he also has to rearrange Steve and his closet, it was all messy. But for now, he decides he'll just drink his coffee in peace. So he ventures over to the large picture window, and draws back the curtain before lifting the latch on the window, and pushing it open. The cool breeze blows past him into the room, and his hair flies back, away from his face.

Metal fingers reach up to tug a wayward strand of hair behind his ear and gray eyes look around for a hair-tie. He finds one on the little table next to the window, and he picks it up, ties his hair into a low ponytail on the base of his neck. His hair is one of the things Steve loves so much about him, loves the long strands, loves weaving them between his fingers, loves tugging on them during sex, and simply _loves_ running his fingers through them. So Bucky doesn't cut his hair short anymore, it ends right below his neck, and it's the perfect length for him and for Steve. Once he's tied his hair away, he picks his coffee mug from the sill of the window again and takes another large sip, his eyes gazing out across the street.

Across the street, Bucky sees Robin Smith stepping out of her house. She yells, 'See you later, Mom!' behind her into the house before she shuts the door. Bucky watches her from the large window as she takes out her earphones from her backpack and plugs it into her phone. She looks around the street as she begins to walk towards the bus stop, and notices Bucky in his window, so she raises a hand and waves at him. Bucky waves back at her, and yells loudly for her to have a good day at school, and she yells her thanks back to him, before she's off on her way. Bucky keeps watching her until she reaches the bus stop at the very corner of the street, and climbs aboard the yellow school bus.

Three minutes later, Daniel Ravine's black Honda Accord pulls into the street, and stops in front of the Smiths house. Bucky smiles to himself, he knows Alex Smith will come out any second, climb into his boyfriend's car, and they're going to drive off to college together. Every day, Daniel comes to the Smiths house, and waits for Alex, and Bucky loves watching the scene everyday. And sure enough, a few seconds later, Alex is running out of the house, his twin sister Reign following close behind him. Alex leans over the driver's side and kisses Daniel, before running over to the other side and climbing into the backseat. Reign greets Daniel and waves goodbye to her brother and his boyfriend before she heads off into the opposite direction— she's going to go babysit for Evelyn Martinez, a single mother of two, who lives just down the street.

"You know that's a little stalker-like, right?"

Bucky startles, the coffee in his mug sloshes and he turns around quickly, to find Steve unzipping his hoodie in the middle of the room. His hair is falling over his face, unkempt from the running, and his muddy shoes are outside the room. "I didn't hear you get in."

"Because you were too busy memorizing the Smiths' morning routine?" Steve asks, the side of his mouth quirking upwards into a sly smile.

Bucky's mouth quirks upwards too, but turns around to look out of the window again, before Steve can see his smile. It's only a minute before Steve's arms are wrapping around his waist from behind and his taut stomach is pressing against Bucky's back. Steve lowers his chin onto Bucky's shoulder and leans his head against Bucky's.

"Where'd your shirt disappear off to?" Bucky asks.

"The same place yours is." Steve replies softly, turning his head and kissing the side of Bucky's neck. "How'd your morning go?"

"Went to go bring the paper in, said hello to Dolores, so it was okay. But it's better now that you're here." Bucky replies, voice soft as a feather and he leans back into Steve, trying to close even a smidgen of distance between them.

"Hmm... is that so?" Steve asks, his words murmured against Bucky's skin. His tone is playful as his kisses begin climbing higher, up to Bucky's jaw. "I'm glad, though, 'cause I love you."

"I love you too." Bucky replies, placing the mug down on the window sill, and turning in Steve's arms. Steve's smile is blinding, achingly beautiful, and Bucky leans in to kiss him— kiss him because he can't stand to see all the love, all the fear, all the pain, all the guilt, all the regret, and all the happiness that Steve carries inside those bright baby blues of his. Bucky can't stand to see all the emotions because he knows they're all for him. The love, the fear, the pain, the regret, the happiness— all because of him, all for him. And he hates it all. He doesn't think he's worthy, and no matter how many times Steve explains it to him that he really _is_ worthy of all of this, Bucky just can't believe him. 

Even though Bucky never meant to; he was the one who ripped Steve away from a life he'd built for himself— after years of struggling with war, with his illnesses, with his trauma; Steve had gone and gotten himself the things he deserved. Steve had friends, he had a home of his own, he had a job— he had everything a normal person should have. He had people who loved him, and he loved those people back. And then Bucky came crashing back into his life, and knocked away all of Steve's normalcy. He came in like a storm, ripped the foundations of Steve's life out from the hinges. Bucky's the one who had nothing, who had no one, not even himself, and Steve's the one who had everything, who could've continued to have everything, but Bucky came and took it away from Steve. At least that's what Bucky believes.

But Steve always says that this wasn't Bucky's fault, this wasn't Bucky's doing. It was Steve, that he was the one who held the match, and he's the one who willingly set fire to his own bridges. Steve says he _chose_ Bucky, that he _chose_ to leave those who wouldn't choose Bucky with him. Steve says that he had choices, that he had options, that he had many doors, but he sealed shut each one that didn't Bucky on the other side.

Steve used to have friends, now Steve _and Bucky_ have friends. Because Steve did a do-over on his life until it was blended in with Bucky's, because Steve changed every single thing in his world until Bucky was interwoven in each and every aspect, because Steve took twist and turns on all roads that didn't lead him to Bucky— so ultimately they all did, because he chose Bucky, over and over again, and he still continues to choose Bucky, every single day, every single moment. Steve _chose_ to live a life with Bucky, he _chose_ to give up being Captain America, he _chose_ to hand over his shield to Sam Wilson, he _chose_ in to retire to the shadows, he _chose_ everything that Bucky wanted, he _chose_ to speak the words Bucky hadn't had the courage to form on his own. Steve says he chose Bucky because he loves him, because there's no him if there's no Bucky.

And every single morning that start with Bucky rolling over and finding Steve lying next to him, beautiful and happy, he wonders just what he did to deserve Steve: a beautiful, wonderful man, who loves him completely and fully, without conditions or limits. A man who always tells Bucky that if he said he was cold, then Steve would light himself on fire to keep Bucky warm, and if it didn't work, he'd set the whole world on fire. Steve loves Bucky so much, and so many years have passed, and Bucky will never fully understand why.

But for what it's worth, Bucky loves Steve just the same. He loves Steve because he knows nothing else, because as far back as he can remember, he's been in love with Steve. It's so profound that Bucky's not at all surprised that a few words meant enough to the man he used to be, that they broke him out of seven decades' worth of brainwashing. And at the same time, it is so concealed that Bucky doesn't know where he ends and Steve starts. It's like each path Bucky takes, leads him back to Steve; each stone that he turns, he find Steve under it; each choice he makes, ends up with him in Steve's arms. He can't escape Steve, and he _never_ wants to. He wants to stay in Steve's arms until the end of the time, he wants to be loves by Steve until they're old and gray, and he so desperately wants to understand why Steve loves him, and he wants to accept it.

"Just stop," Steve murmurs against his mouth, his hands coming up to hold Bucky's face and he pulls away. He sees the confusion on his lover's face and smiles, "stop thinking, stop wondering, just stop working your brain, and kiss me like you mean it."

Bucky obliges, because who the hell is he to ever say no to what sounds like the best thing in the world? He kisses Steve, just as it was requested: like he means it. He channels all his love, all his gratitude and all his feelings into the kiss. His hands hold Steve's waist, his tongue explores Steve's mouth, and his tears disappears into Steve's skin.

They pull away for air at the same time and Bucky wastes not even a moment before he ducks his face, hides it in the crook of Steve's neck. "I love you, I love you so fucking much."

Steve's arms slide home, around Bucky's body and he leans his cheek on top of Bucky's head. "I love you more, Buck, you know I do."

"I know."

"And you don't understand why."

"I don't."

Steve smiles softly to himself then gives his shoulder a little jerk so Bucky knows that he wants him to look up at him, and Bucky does. "Well, then let me show you. Let me love you so... _thoroughly_ that you finally, _finally_ understand just how much I love you, and just why I love you so much."

Bucky smiles, nods and grabs at Steve's face to kiss him firmly. He knows exactly what this means for them, knows because all conversations about their love for one another lead back to this: lovemaking. Not wild, unconstrained sex— though there was no lack of _that_ in their life, but this was pure, unadulterated lovemaking. Bucky's hands slip down Steve's naked back, and into the waistband of his joggers, and settle above Steve's ass. Steve laughs, and it breaks the kiss, so Bucky kisses down Steve's jaw, whispering his love confessions against warm skin, and there's not a single one that Steve doesn't reply to.

An hour later, Bucky's laying in Steve's arms, their legs entwine under the covers, their bodies cooling down naturally. The window of the room is still open, and the soft late-morning breeze is still flitting in through it. The air smells dense, Bucky figures it would start raining again soon. He sighs, smiling to himself, and Steve tightens his hold around Bucky's waist. His lips find their way from the back of Bucky's neck to the back of his shoulder, and he kisses it.

"I love you, James Buchanan Barnes, and I know you don't understand why, you likely never will. But I swear to you, not a day will go by when I won't try my damnedest to try and make you understand why, and make you _see_ just how worthy you are— not only of my love, but of an uncontrollable amount of happiness. I love you, and it's my life's only mission to have you understand why." Steve tells him, his mouth near Bucky's ear now, and his hands rubbing small patterns into the top of Bucky's naked thigh.

Bucky's heart melts at the words, and his breathing immediately quickens, even more than it already was. He wants to cry, but out of pure happiness— the same kind that Steve is talking about. "And I love you, Steven Grant Rogers, more than I can ever put into words, and I promise you that I will always try my best to be worthy of all of this."

"You already are, my love."

"D'you really think so?"

Steve's lips briefly press against the shell of Bucky's ear. "I _know_ so."

"Huh... alright. Then could you please answer a question for me?" Bucky's heart feels like it's hammering against his throat, and he's so glad that his back is pressed to Steve's stomach, because there is no way in Hell, or Heaven, that he'd be able to get his next words out of his mouth otherwise.

"Alright... go ahead, ask." Steve's heart leaps around in his chest and his hands suddenly feel clammy. He doesn't know why, but he is suddenly extremely nervous.

Bucky shuffles around, and breaks out of Steve's arms until he is leaning halfway over the bed on his side. Steve watches in confusion, his hand rubbing at the small of Bucky's back, and he wonders briefly if Bucky is throwing up, and it is only the lack of retching that eases his worries. Then finally, after a solid minute of leaning over, Bucky straightens so he's lying on his stomach, and turns his head to face Steve. Gray eyes dance across Steve's face for a minute before Bucky ducks down and steals a soft kiss, and when he straightens back up, and clears Steve's line of vision, Steve finds himself looking at a simple band of silver.

"Will you, Steven Grant Rogers, make me the happiest man in all nine realms by marrying me?" And Steve's breath is suddenly caught in his throat, his eyes zero in on the simple silver band Bucky's holding up between his fingers, right in front of Steve's eyes.

Steve feels like he is going to die of a heart attack right this moment. He feels like his heart is going to stop beating any second, and his lungs suddenly seem incapable of doing job of drawing breath. With his mouth open in surprise, he glances between the silver band, and Bucky's hopeful yet worried expression. He doesn't try to speak, knows his words would fail him, so he chooses to simply nod quickly, fervently. Words don't fail him as he'd expected, so he blurts out, "Yes! Yes! Oh, fuck yes! God, it would be my fucking honor, Buck. Yes!"

He doesn't even give Bucky a chance to react, instead he grabs Bucky's face and pulls him down for a hard kiss, his arm going around the back of Bucky's neck, holding the brunette in place. And Bucky doesn't hesitate to kiss back with equal fervor. Steve can feel his own tears slipping down the sides of his face— he doesn't care, he's too damn happy to care. The sky could break above his head, the Earth could shatter beneath his feet, and the whole world can fall down around his ears, and he still wouldn't care. He's on cloud nine at the moment, and the feeling of pure happiness leaves no room for anything else.

When the pair break apart for air, Bucky sits up, and Steve sits up and shoves his own hand into his lover's lap. And when Bucky slides the cool silver band on to his third finger, Steve actually lets out a sob. Bucky glances up at him, sees the wide smile on his face, and lets his own tears fall, as well. So for a good few minutes, they sit right where they are, holding hand and staring down at the silver band that signifies much more than either one ever thought was possible for them.

Two minutes and fourteen seconds later, Bucky lets go of Steve's hand, and holds on to his face instead. "Thank you for loving me."

"Well, thank _you_ for making me the happiest man to have ever lived." Steve tells him, lifting a hand to card his fingers through Bucky's disheveled hair— Steve had pulled his hair tie off when Bucky was trying to fit himself inside of Steve earlier. He plays with the tendrils at the base of Bucky's neck, and then softly pulls him closer. They shuffle on the bed until Steve's leaning against several pillows and Bucky's got his head on Steve's shoulder, his left arm tucked between them and his right draped around Steve's waist. Steve's got the fingers of his right hand casually playing with Bucky's hair and his eyes are glued to the ring on the third finger of his left hand, where it's resting on top of Bucky's arm. "How long were you planning that, Buck?"

"You want the honest answer, my love?"

"Of course, baby."

"All my fucking life."

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that's that.  
> I don't know if it was any good or not, or if it was too short. I just wanted to write something about this, and I feel like there's not a lot of happiness left surrounding Bucky and Steve nowadays. They deserve so much better than that steaming pile of bullshit Endgame gave us.  
> I'm rewriting Steve and Bucky's story, and the Russos can kiss my star-spangled ass.  
> Comments, Kudos, and Constructive Criticism is always appreciated.  
> Thank you for reading :) x


End file.
